Happy Birthday Kendall!

Gosh - it's so hard to believe our little peanut is going to be 2 on Friday! I've always thought that time flew by, but once you have children - it's like double warp speed. It truly, truly seems like yesterday that I was excited about having her and now I'm looking at this cool little kid running around the house and talking my ear off. Thank you, Lord, for this precious child.

So much has changed in a year's time...it's amazing how much of a personality develops between 1 and 2. She's so smart and funny and stubborn and friendly and loving and trying - all wrapped up into 24 pounds of cuteness!

We're celebrating a couple of times - first on Friday with a lunch with immediate family - Nana, Papa, Mimi, Meema, Gdad and Sa Sa. I've ordered a special cake from Mad Hatters bakery in Durham, so we shall see if I'll be a repeat customer. Then we're celebrating again on Sunday with our BFFs - I'm having an even specialer (like that word?) cake made by Jenn and the kids are gonna play and we'll have dinner and love on each other (since we haven't really hung out in weeks...gotta love it when your kid loves your BFF's kids...makes things much easier).

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!!

Bad mommy award

Last night I decided to drag my Kendall around with me and my mama while we shopped at Kohl's for me something festive to wear for Christmas. She was such a good girl, which is very unusual for her in Kohl's (she seems to pick up a brat virus every time we walk in that particular store). Then we went back to mama's and had dinner and again, she wasn't acting like herself. Turns out when we finally get home that she has a fever of almost 103. I'm a horrible mother.

*Now accepting comments telling me that I'm not a horrible mother and that you've done something similar*

Time flies

I'm always getting on other blog friends for not posting and I just realized that my last post was a month ago. I need to get on the ball.

A wise friend of mine recently told me that I should start writing down the funny (or at least funny to me) things that Kendall is doing so I don't forget. I figure "write down" in 2009 means type it, so here goes:

1. She talks up a storm (she gets it from her Papa, I think) and mostly gets words right, but there are a few that she says wrong and I can't bear to correct her: "koy" for toy, "rewash" for car wash (more on that later), "shone" for phone, "I luh you" for I love you...I will not correct it - it makes my heart smile to hear her mispronounce things.

2. She is OBSESSED with the rewash. James took her through a car wash last month and she talks about it. Every. Single. Day. She says the same thing every day "I went rewash daddy fun". Which of course means "I went to the car wash with daddy and it was fun". On family date night the other night, we took her through again and it just made her year.

3. She likes to know where everyone that she loves is at that very moment - especially on the way home from Nana's and at bedtime. She goes through the list of people and I have to tell her where they all are and when she'll see them again. Recently she's added new people to the list and it's quite long: Daddy (if he is at work), Nana (my mom), Papa (my dad), Mimi (Megan), MeeMa (James' mom), Gdad (James' dad), Sa Sa (James' sister), Aunt Cole (Nicole), Devwlan (Nicole's son Devlan, Kendall's future husband), Jew (Nicole's son Drew, who Kendall talks about ALL THE TIME, so maybe he's her future husband instead of Devlan??), BJ (self explanatory) and Jack Jack (her friend who broke his arm and Kendall tells me everyday that "Jack Jack arm broke"). It may not always be in this order, but it always contains these people. And sometimes we have to go through them more than once.

4. She is very into Christmas decorations and traditions. Last year she just wanted to eat the ornaments, so I didn't know what this year would bring, but she is WAY into it. We have an Elf on the Shelf named Elvesmere that she loves finding every morning. She helped put up the Christmas tree by gently placing her ornaments on the branches and the other day when we were going upstairs to take a nap, I noticed that she was trying to smuggle baby Jesus from the nativity scene upstairs with her.

Who knew kids could be so much fun?

Since when is my kid smarter than me?

So Kendall had her first trick-or-treat experience on Saturday - she dressed up as the cutest unicorn in all the land and hit about 20 houses with her friend Riley. We came back home on Saturday and she didn't seem all that interested in her loot, so I put the pumpkin bucket in the laundry room and haven't thought anything of it.

Last night as soon as we got home, she walks over to the laundry area, opens the door and asks for a treat. Um - where did that come from? #1 - she never opens the laundry door and #2 - I didn't even know she saw me put it there. So I give her a treat (an itty bitty bag of Skittles for those inquiring minds) and she went on about her business. While she was over in the living room playing and I was SURE she wasn't looking, I took it upon myself to put the pumpkin bucket in the pantry. Safe spot because she didn't see me put it there and I put it up high enough that it wouldn't catch her eye should I open the pantry in front of her.

I go into the office and piddle around some and the next thing I know, in Kendall walks, swinging her PUMPKIN BUCKET and asks for a treat. WHAT!?!?!?! So not only did she OPEN the pantry door, she somehow figured out how to get the bucket down and bring it to me. Geez Louise - she's outsmarting me already.

Just for the record, the pumpkin bucket is hidden in the pots and pans cabinet now.

Tag!

Ya'll know I'm a sucker for any type of "tag" or survey, so when my sweet friend Rachel P posted a tag, I couldn't resist. Here goes:

1. Tell me something great as of late.
- Our vacation was, in a word, great. We went to the beach, dined out, took naps, went to the pool, saw alligators, ate sushi, laughed, laughed and laughed. It was our first vacation with just our little family, but it will not be the last. There is absolutely nothing like waking up everyday for a week straight with only your loves to be with. I am more in love with my husband and daughter than I ever could have imagined.

2. Tell me something hard as of late.
-Consistency with disciplining Kendall is hard. She is such a precious, smart, funny, lively little girl but she is also strong-willed (and I don't use that term lightly - I've read the book). There are days when I feel like I'm doing a pretty horrible job at the whole mommy thing if my 21 month old is already acting so heinous. Luckily she makes up for those days when she tells me she loves me. Most beautiful sound in the world.

3. Tell me something about your family. Good. Bad. Funny.
-Good - My parents are home more now that the winter season is here. While the goal of their ministry is to be full time at the beach, I don't think this winter season will be the start of that, so they'll be around lots.
-Bad - I have a loved one that is my extended family really going through a hard time right now. It's been on my mind a lot.
-Funny - Kendall got rain boots while we were at the beach and insists on wearing them all the time. You can check out Facebook for proof. The child would wear them to bed if she could. Granted, they are pretty cute.

4. Tell me something about your friends.
-They do my heart good and we're heading for a girl's weekend at the beach in a couple of weeks and I can't wait. It's cold so I don't have to squeeze into a bathing suit and I get to be with my girlfriends - doesn't get much better than that.

Unplugged

The Mason family is officially unplugging for a week, starting Sunday! We have been blessed with a place to stay in Hilton Head and we're heading down there early Sunday morning for a week of rest and family time. This will be the first vacation that we've taken with just the three of us - we usually impose ourselves on one set of our parents. My goal is to completely unplug from the busy life in Durham (except for homework of course - that doesn't stop because I'm going out of town, unfortunately). I'm not sure what all we'll get into, but I know Christmas shopping at the outlets is on the agenda and there have been talks of getting me on a bicycle...we shall see.

Can't wait to fill you in when we get back! Take care until then!

Blow out

For 20 months now I've avoided it. We've had a couple of almost blow outs, but nothing I would classify as truly disgusting.

Until tonight.

We're in the Kroger check out line when Kendall says "I poop". No biggie - she says "I poop" all the time - when she pees, when she breaks wind, when she's trying to make me laugh. Then I smell her. Still no biggie - obviously she actually did poop this time, so we'll take care of it when we get home. We live 2 minutes from Kroger, so I finished checking out - buckled her in the car and went home. Got her out of the car and saw that she wasn't joking. The kid definitely pooped. Took her upstairs and proceeded to take her pants off and saw that said poop was not only in her diaper, it was in her pants, in her shirt, up her back, on her leg. She started screamed "ewwww" and crying, I'm gagging and telling her it's alright.

And then I did what any other mother would do. I took her clothes off and threw them in the trash - didn't even consider sending that vile smelling stuff through my washer.

I guess I should consider myself lucky that she's 20 months old and we've just had our first truly disgusting blow out. Ahh - the joys of motherhood. I wonder what James would have done??

Labor Day at the beach

This weekend, the Mason family set off for the beach to celebrate Labor Day. I must admit that as a child (a very young child) I thought that Labor Day was to commemorate the day that George Washington went into labor. And who said there was something wrong with the public school system??

I headed down Friday with my parents and KK and we met Megan down there. I haven't seen the Megster since school started back, so I was VERY excited to hug her neck and Kendall was thrilled to see her "Mimi". James joined us on Saturday and we truly had a great time just hanging out as a family.

I've been semi-boycotting the beach ever since there has been talk about my parents moving down there to plant a church. I know, I know - how selfish of me. Ronnie has been preaching down there for a few summers and I guess it should have dawned on me that the natural progression would be that they start a "full-time" church, but I was so comfortable in my routine of my precious parents being 20 minutes away that when they started talking about making the beach their permanent home, I sort of freaked. For those that don't know me too well, let me explain that I have a FABULOUS relationship with my parents. Like we're the type that will sort of make you sick because we get along so well. I'd rather be with them than pretty much anyone else on the planet. So, a few months ago when they came to me and told me that the Lord was doing a work in their hearts and leading them to be more permanent at the beach, I did what every other mature, Christian woman would do. I got into an argument with Ronnie, stopped reading my Bible for a while and decided that I'd never go to the beach again as long as I lived. Fabulous reaction, right? WRONG!

Listen - I know I was wrong, but I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest when my mom called me, full of excitement, to tell me that the Lord had clearly spoken to her and that she just knew they were being called to build a year-round church down there. But then the Lord started opening my eyes to the ministry that they have been called to.

I've been going to the Atlantic Beach/Emerald Isle area almost every weekend in the summer since I was a sweet little infant laying in my mommy's arms. I know the island like the back of my hand. We've been in this particular spot in Indian Beach (about halfway between EI and AB) since I was 12. These people have witnessed the unmistakable power of Jesus Christ working in the life of my family. They've sought out my dad and asked him to be their pastor during the summer months. They've come to the deck of our modest trailer and sought counsel. Some of them have shunned my parents, some of them have loved my parents, but all of them have seen the Lord at work - whether they wanted to admit that it was the Lord or not. The group of people that have come to hear the Lord speak through Ronnie has continuously grown. There are some there that have a relationship with Jesus and some that dabble in the whole "religious" thing. And then there are those that are very much against the thought that God wants something from them...that God wants them to come to Him. Since my parents have started pouring their lives into these people, change has taken place. Whether that be in the rich man that realized his need for a Savior or the proud man that only recently allowed my dad the opportunity to even share the gospel, there has been change. We've seen (yes, I say "we" even though I'm certainly not worthy of being a part of something like this) the numbers of those coming out on Sunday morning increase, we've started a Kid's Church to start building into the lives of the little ones around the area, we've given back to the community with food and service - we've been the church. And I have peace. Peace came a few weeks ago, actually. But it was confirmed this Sunday when I heard my daddy preach. I've heard him bring messages for a while now, but this Sunday was different because the Lord spoke to MY heart. See - this Sunday I wasn't looking at Ronnie as my dad - I was looking to him as my pastor and I saw, maybe for the first time, how Jesus wants to use him. I was supposed to help mom in Kid's Church and I just woke up knowing that I needed to go to church. I've never gone to the waterfront service at the beach before EXPECTING to hear a word from Jesus. But, boy, I was broken by the word the Lord spoke through my dad Sunday. And not only did that word lead me to contemplate matters about my own relationship with my Savior, but it also slapped me in the face with the fact that this is what my family is supposed to be doing. We're supposed to be ministering to the people down on the coast. We're supposed to be reminding them that not too many years ago we, as a family, were a TRAIN WRECK. We're supposed to be showing them that the amazing grace of Jesus Christ is sufficient. We're supposed to love them enough to sacrifice the comfort of my mom keeping Kendall for me or my dad being a short drive away when I need some advice. We're supposed to love Jesus enough to follow Him wherever it is that He leads.

And that's what my mom, the woman I'd love to become, and my (step)dad, the man that didn't have to father me but has done a HECK of a job doing it, have chosen to do. Theirs is a labor of love on this Labor Day. They may not see the fruits of that labor in this lifetime. But they are allowing the God of the universe to use them for HIS kingdom, uncertainty and all. And my heart is nearly about to explode for love for the Father for choosing them and love for them for responding.

God is good. All the time.

And I am a blessed woman.

Chatty McChatterbox

I remember reading about "word explosions" when Kendall was first born. I wondered to myself if I would know when she was having one of those...um, I can definitely say that yes - she's having one now. It seems like everyday she surprises me with a new word...one that we haven't even been trying to teach her. Like today's word - socks. I had no clue that she knew that word. She just randomly saw a sock and said "socks". I love it! Parenting has gotten more fun and a little easier since she has been able to ask for juice or an apple. She's such a joy...truly, she is.

Surgery went well...

Thank you so much for your prayers. James' dad came through his procedure just fine and is resting at home this week. The recovery period is a few weeks and he'll be back to normal. The way God shows up in medical stuff just flat out amazes me.

While I was away at the conference (which was beyond fabulous, by the way), James took Kendall shopping and bought her some new shoes. Let me tell you, that girl is proud of her shoes. Whenever she wears them - she is constantly looking down at them and saying "SHOES!!" in her excited voice. It's precious. Poor child is obviously gonna take after her mommy in that regard. Just picked me up a new pair at Target about an hour ago, as a matter of fact...

Life moves pretty fast...

I can hardly believe that it's the end of July. Summer is flying by, as time tends to do. Things are going really well for the Mason family. We're gearing up for our October vacation and I, for one, CAN'T WAIT!! This will be our first family vacation with just the 3 of us. We are usually crashing either my parent's vacation or his parent's vacation, so this year we're having our own! Because of an unexpected surgery that his dad has to have (more on that in a sec), his parents won't be able to use their timeshare in Hilton Head in October and they have graciously extended the offer for us to use it instead....like that took any thought whatsoever since Hilton Head is our favorite place on earth!

Unfortunately, James' dad is going to have to have a defibrillator implanted this coming Monday morning after suffering from an irregular heartbeat. He has a history of heart problems, including a triple bypass in 2000, so his cardiologist feels this is a good move for him to make. Of course, I'm nervous as all get out since I am somewhat of a spaz about...well, everything. But James' dad is very upbeat about the surgery and is glad that his doctors are being proactive.

I'm headed to a Beth Moore conference this weekend with my mom and lots of other ladies from Cross Culture. I'm very excited about going...these events are usually wonderful. Kendall will be staying overnight at James' parents for the first time. She has her own room over there, all decked out in purple paint and flowers and butterflies, so she'll be good to go.

Please pray for James' dad as he goes for his surgery...I really appreciate it!

Busy Saturday

Today was a craaaazy busy Saturday. We woke up early to get Kendall all dressed and ready for her first flower girl appearance. She was in my sister Lexie's wedding (dad and stepmom's oldest daughter). She looked absolutely precious and we were 30 seconds from walking out the door when she climbed up in a chair while I was pouring her some juice for the ride and dumped an entire cup of Mommy's Diet Pepsi down the front of her baby pink dress. I completely FREAKED out. I'm talking semi panic attack. Luckily, the wedding wasn't until 11, so we had time to wash and (mostly) dry the dress before Kendall's debut. Whew. Crises averted.

She did a really, really good job. She walked down the aisle like a champ. Unfortunately she decided that she liked prancing in front of everyone so much that she kept running across the church and I had to chase after her. Good thing I had on my running heels...

After the wedding, which was truly lovely, we came home and had a nap and then headed to a birthday party for a sweet LifeGroup kiddo. Let me just say that I'm going to have to step my birthday party game up if I'm going to "compete" with these LifeGroup mommies. They are like the queens of parties, for real. So far, we've had a pool party, a movie night under the stars (complete with popcorn), a lake cookout and today a treasure hunt. Good grannies!

We're baaack!

How is it that a workweek d...r...a...g...s by, but a vacation is in warp speed! It feels like my time at the beach flew by. We had so much fun soaking up the sun, eating, laughing and resting. I'm headed back down on Friday and I can't wait.

I am proud to say that I only got a little bit sunburned on my back - which is a change from my usual burn it til it browns motto. I had SPF 30 on almost the entire time. Gotta stay as young looking as my hubby, you know!

Kendall absolutely loved the beach. The days of relaxing with a good book are over - that girl kept us running the whole time! She loved running down to the water and saying "Wee!!" everytime the water chased her. She didn't even turn blue although the water was arctic. She only ate a little bit of sand and one sea shell, so we're doing good!

Summer is here

So this week, we're packing up and heading out of town to ring in the start of summer. I have been fortunate to have grandparents and parents who have kept a place at the coast since I was a baby, so the beach feels like home to me. It's so funny to think back on the weekends I begged to stay in Durham instead of going with my parents to the beach...now I'm begging them to let me come with them!

I can't wait to see Kendall playing in the sand. I'm sure she'll eat her fair share since sand is her favorite outdoor snack. Surprisingly enough, things like this don't bother me. Shocking, I know. I figure it's better than that ladybug carcass she munched on back in the winter.

Even though I don't worry about my child eating sand, I am absolutely flipping my lid worrying about sun exposure this year. You know me - I pick something to obsess about quite frequently and right now it's making sure Kendall never gets a sunburn. I wonder if it'll be too hot to make her wear jeans and a turtleneck on the beach?

15-month check up

Yesterday we had Kendall's 15th month check up (even though she's already 16 months). Here are her stats:

• Weight 21.1 pounds (20th percentile) - I'm just happy the kid finally broke 20...geez.
• Height 31 inches (55th percentile)
• Noggin 47.4 (85th percentile) - No head jokes from the doctor, so that's always progress

She was NOT HAPPY with being checked out, I can tell you that. It's amazing to me how strong such a little girl can be. She flipped out on poor Dr. Rand. And we don't even want to talk about how she reacted to her shots - MMR and Chickenpox...I seriously think she would have kicked that nurse in the throat if mommy didn't have a death grip on her entire body.

She's developing well, the doctor is pleased with everything, which is fabulous news. However, the best news was when Dr. Rand told me not to worry about Kendall having her paci at nap and bedtime...I about kissed her when she said that!!! I'm sure we'll start working on it before too much longer, but right now, she's safe to suck that paci until her heart is content (in her crib, of course).

Always learning

It's been so cool lately to see Kendall experiencing new things and learning new things. It seems like everyday is an opportunity to show her something she's never seen before, or to have her try a new food or try to get her to say a new word. So far this week she has learned: how to throw things off our back deck, the word "baby", that tater tots should be a required food group, what a snail looks like, how to help us do her hair, that throwing an absolute fit at Southpoint Mall will not result in mommy and daddy letting her run wild like she wants to (that one was a fun learning experience for everyone involved)...I could go on and on. She is just a joy to hang out with. I never thought in those first few sleep deprived week that I'd actually be the mommy of a cool little kid, but I am!

The back yard looks a little better. All of the brush is gone and the stumps should be ground today. We ended up cutting down like 25 trees in all. We've got a plan drawn up by James' good friend, Ryan, who owns a landscaping company and pretty soon I'll have a Better Homes and Gardens yard! I can't wait!

I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend. My next 6 weeks will be slammed every weekend, so I'm going to enjoy doing nothing. It's supposed to be extremely pretty here, so I'm thinking Kendall and I will head to the park for a picnic and let the sun shine on our (sun screened) faces.

Who says you can't arrange marriages anymore?

Nicole and I sure are gonna try:

Have I ever mentioned...

...that I am INCREDIBLY impatient? It's a serious character flaw and I would love to say that it's something I'm working on...but I try not to lie, so I won't. My impatience has reared it's ugly head again this week as we took on our first major home project.

When we bought our home three years ago, one of the things that we really liked was the "natural" area in the back (aka a ton of trees). Ironically, we are now spending our hard earned money to have those trees removed because #1 I want my sweet baby Kendall to have a real backyard to run around in and #2 a gigantore tree fell the other night during a storm and although it (thankfully) didn't hit anything, it freaked me out. So, yesterday Honest Tree Service (yes, that was really their name) came and removed not one, not two, but seventeen trees from our yard. Mostly in the back, but a few in the front, too.

So I guess I thought that the landscape fairy was going to land in our backyard overnight and I would wake up to beautiful grass and a swing set and a little water fall with those rocks that are really radios playing Kenny G to sooth my nerves. Instead I woke up to a truly overwhelming pile of mulch from the tree chipper, ugly bare spots where I wonder if grass will ever grow and a headache from the chain saws that were running for 11 hours yesterday.

Of course my husband is always the epitome of composure and knows just how to deal with me. As I stood on top of the pile of mulch and screeched that I wanted it gone RIGHT THIS MINUTE, he calmly told me to "quit freaking out, babe." So I will. Just don't drive by my house right now because you would laugh.

In other news, my darling baby is sick. She's been running fever, has snot for days (she definitely got her gross snot issues from her daddy), and is just laying around the house. Poor baby. Of course, it's viral. I took her to the doctor yesterday and they ruled out everything else.

So Kendall and I are planning on spending the remainder of our Saturday vegging out on the couch watching Pinky Dinky Doo and dreaming of less congestion and newly laid sod...

She looks like her daddy...

...but she acts like her mama. Seriously, our sweet, precious, fun-loving daughter has an attitude problem. And it doesn't make it easier that she's cute while she's showing that attitude.
I thought I "prepared" by reading up on discipline, talking to lots of moms about what works/doesn't work...I even took a class at church on the subject. But, see - I still thought I had a good year left before she started acting ugly. Nope. Apparently she's an early bloomer.

Now, run of the mill periods of being ill or tired and whiney I can get down with. Those are understandable. But that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about kicking, arching her back, scratching mama's face, hitting, pulling her lip (something you have to see to believe). Most people don't believe me when I tell them. My girl is a charmer, so she's got people hosed. Still others laugh when I tell them, which is understandable because I've been known to have a witty line or two in my day.

But, deep down inside, this TERRIFIES me. I never thought I would so clearly see the sin nature in my child at such an early age. It pains me to think of the battle that she, like all of us, face with our flesh every single day. I may not throw temper tantrums anymore (not often, at least), but I'm struggling with my flesh just the same. I pray that the Lord will give us wisdom to raise Kendall to fear Him and to accept His gift of grace. You can pray with me, if you'd like. For all of our children...

Overindulgence

So I was thinking...God works through lots of different things. And one way that He speaks to me sometimes is through the different blogs that I read. Recently, a friend of mine has been blogging about a commitment that she made with regards to food addiction. She is doing quite well and as I've read her blog, I've started to come to terms with the fact that my issue with weight is, in fact, a sin issue. I've never really looked at it like that before. I just figured I love food - no harm in that, right? Wrong! See - I'm having a sort of revelation here, so bear with me. I think that what I've done over the past several years is replace one addiction with another.

For those that know me well, you already know that I consider myself to have a huge problem with alcohol...although the Lord enabled me to sober up years ago, I don't think that I will ever feel comfortable around the stuff because it has been one of my life's biggest struggles. (Praise be to Him for releasing me from that addiction!!) Clean and sober I may be, but I think that I have allowed myself to take the addiction that I had to alcohol and replace it with food. The old Jennifer celebrated with alcohol, grieved with alcohol, got mad with alcohol. The new Jennifer celebrates with food, grieves with food, gets mad with food. Do you see a pattern here?

The cool thing is that the same God that poured His grace over me in the area of my alcohol addiction can do the same in the area of food addiction. I've just got to reach out to Him just like I did all those years ago about alcohol. Last night I was reading a book totally unrelated to food and the topic of overindulgence was written about and the verse that was given was Proverbs 25:16, which reads "If you find honey, eat just enough - too much of it and you will vomit"...kinda gross, I know, but how true. How many times have I felt just pure SICK after eating and eating and eating?

I say all this to say that I'm formally recognizing that I have issues with food and I'm not sure where God is going to take me now that He's convicted me of the problem, but I absolutely trust in Him because He has so radically changed my life already and this food thing is small potatoes for him (I'm so witty).

Big head

Kendall finally had her 1 year check up today. She was a little late getting in because she had been sick. Anyhoo - everything is looking good. She handled her first finger prick like a trooper. She didn't even whimper. Just looked at the guy like he was crazy and then became interested in her blood pouring out. I think she has a future in the medical field.

Her stats:

Weight 19 pounds, 12 ounces - 25th percentile
Length 29 1/2 inches - 50th percentile
Head I can't remember - 85th percentile

So of course I freaked out and asked him what's wrong with my child's noggin. He said that nothing is wrong since it's always been big. Um, thanks doc. Seriously, he explained that her head circumference has always been 85th percentile, so he isn't concerned. Then he made some lame joke about her hat size. At that point I wanted to kick him in the throat for talking about my child's sweet head not once, but twice. I remained calm, however. No worries.

He was pleased that she's walking, saying a couple of words and feeding herself. He told me that she needs more milk than she's getting, which is difficult since he wants me to take her off the bottle and she absolutely refuses to drink milk from her cup. Juice or water from the cup is fine. But not milk. She gets a mouthful of milk, then opens her mouth and lets is pour right out. Every. Single. Time.

We're off to the beach this weekend with my parents and Megan. James has to work, so he gets to stay home and hold down the fort. I am very excited to see how KK will react to the beach this go round. She was itty bitty last time she saw the sand. It's supposed to be pretty nice this weekend, so I'm sure we'll take her to play and get nice and gritty!

Can't stop kissing her

So I have a theory that when a baby is sick, mommy's kisses make her better. Hence the reason that I am now contracting Kendall's heinous cold as I type this. She came down with a head cold (translation - concrete filled sinuses) on Tuesday. Then hives on Wednesday. Back to the Niagara Falls of snot today. Good times. But I just can't stop kissing her. I even wipe her snot with my bare hands in times of need. I am determined that my child WILL NOT walk around with crusted up snot on her face and since she practically runs when she sees a Kleenex coming at her, my only option sometimes is the stealth hand swipe, followed by clapping and saying "Yeah Kendall", which always prompts a smile.

James and I have officially turned into dorky parents. Because of Kendall's aforementioned terror of things coming at her nose, we found ourselves in the middle of the living room Tuesday night choreographing a dance to go with our "Let Us Bulb Your Nose" song. She didn't find it humorous (i.e. she FREAKED when we actually bulbed her), but James and I laugh every time we talk about it.

Tuesday brought about Kendall's first snow and her first bug swallowing. She loved the snow, cried when we brought her in. And I don't think she minded that 1/2 a ladybug she managed to swallow before I pulled the other half out of her mouth (RIP sweet ladybug).

Hope all is well in your world!

KK update

Kendall's first week of being a whole year old has been mucho fun. She has such a neat little personality. She loves to laugh at mommy and daddy being goof balls, she plays well by herself and with other people...she's just an easygoing kid.

She really likes to eat - anything and everything. The only thing that she doesn't like so far is hominy, but like my mother in law said - who does? She usually eats yogurt and cereal for breakfast, something like a grilled cheese for lunch and whatever we have for dinner. Our food has gotten a lot less spicy since she started eating with us!! James has a constant bottle of Frank's Red Hot readily available to spruce up his meals (that makes a chef feel good, let me tell you).

She loves for James and I to chase her around the house. We'll say "I'm going to get you" and off she goes. It' sso funny because even though she "runs" from us - she always stops so that we can catch her. She just giggles and giggles when we "get" her.

Bathtime is a lot more fun since mommy finally put up the baby tub (poor child was hanging over the sides of it by the time I figured she was ready for the big girl tub). She loves to splash and play. But she screams when we take her out...she doesn't like the drying off/getting dressed process.

James has her doing a couple of things that trip me out. He started showing her daiynoggin.com a while ago because she likes the songs. Well, now whenever she sees a laptop she crawls over as fast as she can and looks at the screen expectantly. Makes you feel guilty enough to go ahead and play a song for her. He's also taught her that power cords are "hot". Now when she touches one, she says "hot"...I don't think she understands that hot is a bad thing. She just thinks that's what they're called.

She is walking a little - maybe like 10 steps at the time before she either gets tired and sits or falls down. It's so cute to see her gain her balance...she truly is a precious child (I'm a bit biased).

From Worry to Worship

So I worry. Incessantly. It's exhausting to be in my head - I promise you never want to go there. I worry about EVERYTHING - money, family, health, jobs, school, Kendall, the economy, terrorists, aspartame, deep vein thrombosis...seriously EVERYTHING. Last week it really came to a head. I went to my closet (one of my BFFs has a closet that she goes to be with the Lord and I copied the idea) and just lay in the floor and cried out to God. I'm so TIRED of the worry. He pointed me to some scripture that deals with the topic and I prayed and then wiped my tears and resolved to do something about it. I think a lot of times I pray and just expect God to fix things without considering that I may have to play an active role in whatever it is that I'm praying about. For example, the source of worry is my thought life. So how do I change my thought life? Maybe by memorizing scripture and every time I start to worry, I recite the scripture.

Anyway - I realized that I've got to take some responsibility for my anxiety. So I found a devotional called "From Worry to Worship" and I started on it night before last. I don't know what God will show me through this book, but I already identify so much with the author's point of view, so at least I know I'm not the only crazy lady out here. I'm excited to see where this goes.

Please continue to pray for our family. Mikki passed away on Monday. Her funeral will be on Friday and I know that it will be extremely difficult. Please pray specifically for:

• My Aunt Tina who has had to make some very difficult choices while mourning the loss of her baby daughter.
• Jayden, Mikki's son. He still does not know that his mommy isn't coming home. They are telling him today.
• TJ, Mikki's brother. He is heartbroken.
• My brother, "Little" Ronnie who was best friends with Mikki from childhood.
• My Ronnie dad who is performing his first funeral service.

I know that the Lord can be glorified through this situation.

Now, I realize that the point of this blog is supposed to be to talk about my sweet baby girl and I haven't done a great job of that my last few posts, so I promise I will next time. My heart has just been heavy and who better to tell about that heaviness than all of cyberspace...hee, hee.

Take care...

I don't understand

So nothing, short of a miracle, will keep my cousin alive. She has been in a coma since New Year's Eve and my Aunt has to decide whether to take her off the breathing machine by Monday. I am heartbroken. It's not even so much that Mikki and I were close in our adulthood. We hung out as children moreso than any other time. So it's not necessarily that my day to day life will be impacted, but I ache for my Aunt, for my brother (who is practically joined at the hip with Mikki) and for Jayden, whose little life will never be the same. And I just don't get it. I can't see what good will come out of her death. In my mind, it seems like a good old fashioned healing would have been much more beneficial to everyone involved. But isn't that why I'm not God (one of the bajillion reasons, of course)? Because I can't see the bigger picture. Because I don't know what is in store.

I pray that even one person, one single person would come to know Jesus as their Lord through this tragedy. I pray that instead of turning people farther away from God, this will bring them to His feet. And I pray that God will release me from the horrible guilt that I feel. It makes me feel sick to my stomach to think that I honestly don't know where she will spend eternity. I don't understand why I didn't bring up Jesus - hello - it was CHRISTMAS EVE...what better time?? I'm such a coward. Maybe not even a coward...that's probably not the right word. I've become lazy and apathetic. It didn't even cross my mind to talk about my Savior when she and I were chatting. We were talking about having babies and the pain of labor and joking about how much food we had eaten...I didn't even THINK to tell her that Jesus has changed my life. What kind of Christian does that make me? (That doesn't require a response...)

But, I know that I've got to put this down. See, the sins that Jesus died for weren't just the sins that I committed BEFORE I accepted Him. As in "I'll forgive you for everything that you did before December of 2002, but girl after today, you're on your own..." And sometimes I forget that. I forget that the covering of His grace is sufficient for all the junk that I carried to the cross with me and all the rotten things I've done since. And so I rest in the promise of His forgiveness. And I praise Him for this sweet conviction that I feel. It lets me know that His Holy Spirit is alive and working in my heart. I pray that I would be bold and never apathetic or assuming again.

Sorry this post has been sort of a rambling of my jumbled up thoughts. But if you've made it this far, I appreciate you reading and I covet your prayers.

Happy 2009 & an update on Mikki

I can't believe that last year, at this time, I was giving birth to Kendall. I'm about to be a broken record here, but seriously - where does time go? The first couple of weeks of motherhood were scary and seemed to dddrrraaaggg by. But after that, it's like someone pressed fast forward and here we are.

2008 was a pretty amazing year. Having Kendall completely changed my heart, my marriage, my overall outlook on a lot of things for the better. The Lord has used her to build relationships with people, to soften my heart towards situations/people, to increase my trust in Him as He holds her life in His very capable hands. Being a mom is the most awesome and satisfying, yet the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. How is it possible to love someone this much? What happens if she chooses a path that isn't right for her? What happens if someone hurts her? How can I protect her forever?

Aren't those things that the Lord deals with when He looks at me? After all, I am His child. How many times has He watched as I made a decision that He knew wasn't right? How often do I hurt His heart by neglecting to nurture my relationship with Him? I pray that the Lord uses my love for Kendall to help me understand just a fraction of the love that He feels for His children.

Okay - enough of the deep stuff. Let's think of things that were cool about 2008...I'll shoot for 10 things:

1. I discovered that Costco carries Welch's fruit snacks. By the case. As in 80 packages. Yum.

2. I found the pea coat that I thought was lost forever when I cleaned out our closet in preparation for Kendall's arrival.

3. I played Santa for the first time.

4. I tried my hand at making baby food and actually enjoyed it.

5. I started watching The Office. Wow.

6. I decorated the house for Christmas and was happy to show it off.

7. I learned the value of hand-me-down toys. Thanks to all that came through in a pinch.

8. I made progress in figuring out how to do my child's hair. Sure to be a life-long struggle.

9. I learned that if my house isn't spotless all the time, life will go on.

10. I finally got a digital frame.

Now, those are kind of silly, but I hope that those that actually read this blog know my heart and realize that I am more grateful than I can express in words for the life that my Lord has blessed me with. A relationship with the Savior of the world, a husband that gives me butterflies in my stomach, a daughter that brings joy to my heart, extended family that blow me away with their love and kindness, friends to make memories with, a job that I enjoy, a church that is all about Jesus...I could go on and on. Oh, I praise God for all that He is. May 2009 be a year that I am fully surrendered to His plan for the life of this family.

**Update on Mikki**

Thank you to everyone that has been praying for my cousin. I wish I could bring better news than I have to bring. We thought that we saw a light at the end of the tunnel...she had become responsive, more alert on Sunday and Monday and then yesterday and today took a turn for the worst. Tonight, they did brain surgery to try and relieve some of the pressure in her brain. The surgeon came out to talk to us and didn't paint a very promising picture. The stroke that she had was pretty massive and damaged quite a lot of brain tissue. He cut out a section of her skull (sorry to be graphic) to allow some of the pressure to be relieved and unfortunately, the space that created was already in danger of being filled by more swelling. There is sure to be damage to her brain and functioning if she does pull through this. But I believe in miracles. I really, truly do. I told God earlier today that I honestly, from the bottom of my heart can not see a reason why this has happened and He reminded me that I don't need to see a reason for anything. The Lord has a plan. Sitting at the hospital tonight, watching the ball drop on television bringing in the New Year, I was laughing with family that 2 months ago I wouldn't have even been talking to. I saw Ronnie embrace my aunt tonight, exchange "I Love You's" and a kiss...wouldn't have happened a year ago. The Lord is at work in this situation.

I pray from the bottom of my heart that God sees fit to pull Mikki through this. She is so young and I just keep thinking about her son and how tragic losing her would be. Please join me in prayer, if you haven't already.

May you and yours be blessed in 2009...