Wednesday, January 7, 2009

From Worry to Worship

So I worry. Incessantly. It's exhausting to be in my head - I promise you never want to go there. I worry about EVERYTHING - money, family, health, jobs, school, Kendall, the economy, terrorists, aspartame, deep vein thrombosis...seriously EVERYTHING. Last week it really came to a head. I went to my closet (one of my BFFs has a closet that she goes to be with the Lord and I copied the idea) and just lay in the floor and cried out to God. I'm so TIRED of the worry. He pointed me to some scripture that deals with the topic and I prayed and then wiped my tears and resolved to do something about it. I think a lot of times I pray and just expect God to fix things without considering that I may have to play an active role in whatever it is that I'm praying about. For example, the source of worry is my thought life. So how do I change my thought life? Maybe by memorizing scripture and every time I start to worry, I recite the scripture.

Anyway - I realized that I've got to take some responsibility for my anxiety. So I found a devotional called "From Worry to Worship" and I started on it night before last. I don't know what God will show me through this book, but I already identify so much with the author's point of view, so at least I know I'm not the only crazy lady out here. I'm excited to see where this goes.

Please continue to pray for our family. Mikki passed away on Monday. Her funeral will be on Friday and I know that it will be extremely difficult. Please pray specifically for:

  • My Aunt Tina who has had to make some very difficult choices while mourning the loss of her baby daughter.
  • Jayden, Mikki's son. He still does not know that his mommy isn't coming home. They are telling him today.
  • TJ, Mikki's brother. He is heartbroken.
  • My brother, "Little" Ronnie who was best friends with Mikki from childhood.
  • My Ronnie dad who is performing his first funeral service.

I know that the Lord can be glorified through this situation.

Now, I realize that the point of this blog is supposed to be to talk about my sweet baby girl and I haven't done a great job of that my last few posts, so I promise I will next time. My heart has just been heavy and who better to tell about that heaviness than all of cyberspace...hee, hee.

Take care...

1 comment:

Nicole said...

I love you and glad I'm not the only one "coming out of the closet" :)