I can't believe that last year, at this time, I was giving birth to Kendall. I'm about to be a broken record here, but seriously - where does time go? The first couple of weeks of motherhood were scary and seemed to dddrrraaaggg by. But after that, it's like someone pressed fast forward and here we are.
2008 was a pretty amazing year. Having Kendall completely changed my heart, my marriage, my overall outlook on a lot of things for the better. The Lord has used her to build relationships with people, to soften my heart towards situations/people, to increase my trust in Him as He holds her life in His very capable hands. Being a mom is the most awesome and satisfying, yet the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. How is it possible to love someone this much? What happens if she chooses a path that isn't right for her? What happens if someone hurts her? How can I protect her forever?
Aren't those things that the Lord deals with when He looks at me? After all, I am His child. How many times has He watched as I made a decision that He knew wasn't right? How often do I hurt His heart by neglecting to nurture my relationship with Him? I pray that the Lord uses my love for Kendall to help me understand just a fraction of the love that He feels for His children.
Okay - enough of the deep stuff. Let's think of things that were cool about 2008...I'll shoot for 10 things:
1. I discovered that Costco carries Welch's fruit snacks. By the case. As in 80 packages. Yum.
2. I found the pea coat that I thought was lost forever when I cleaned out our closet in preparation for Kendall's arrival.
3. I played Santa for the first time.
4. I tried my hand at making baby food and actually enjoyed it.
5. I started watching The Office. Wow.
6. I decorated the house for Christmas and was happy to show it off.
7. I learned the value of hand-me-down toys. Thanks to all that came through in a pinch.
8. I made progress in figuring out how to do my child's hair. Sure to be a life-long struggle.
9. I learned that if my house isn't spotless all the time, life will go on.
10. I finally got a digital frame.
Now, those are kind of silly, but I hope that those that actually read this blog know my heart and realize that I am more grateful than I can express in words for the life that my Lord has blessed me with. A relationship with the Savior of the world, a husband that gives me butterflies in my stomach, a daughter that brings joy to my heart, extended family that blow me away with their love and kindness, friends to make memories with, a job that I enjoy, a church that is all about Jesus...I could go on and on. Oh, I praise God for all that He is. May 2009 be a year that I am fully surrendered to His plan for the life of this family.
**Update on Mikki**
Thank you to everyone that has been praying for my cousin. I wish I could bring better news than I have to bring. We thought that we saw a light at the end of the tunnel...she had become responsive, more alert on Sunday and Monday and then yesterday and today took a turn for the worst. Tonight, they did brain surgery to try and relieve some of the pressure in her brain. The surgeon came out to talk to us and didn't paint a very promising picture. The stroke that she had was pretty massive and damaged quite a lot of brain tissue. He cut out a section of her skull (sorry to be graphic) to allow some of the pressure to be relieved and unfortunately, the space that created was already in danger of being filled by more swelling. There is sure to be damage to her brain and functioning if she does pull through this. But I believe in miracles. I really, truly do. I told God earlier today that I honestly, from the bottom of my heart can not see a reason why this has happened and He reminded me that I don't need to see a reason for anything. The Lord has a plan. Sitting at the hospital tonight, watching the ball drop on television bringing in the New Year, I was laughing with family that 2 months ago I wouldn't have even been talking to. I saw Ronnie embrace my aunt tonight, exchange "I Love You's" and a kiss...wouldn't have happened a year ago. The Lord is at work in this situation.
I pray from the bottom of my heart that God sees fit to pull Mikki through this. She is so young and I just keep thinking about her son and how tragic losing her would be. Please join me in prayer, if you haven't already.
May you and yours be blessed in 2009...
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