I'm experiencing mommy guilt because I haven't written anything about my KBug in a while. She is truly the coolest kid on the planet, hands down. I love hanging with her - she keeps me laughing all the time. Some things she's got going on:
- She goes to preschool at Grove Park Chapel 2 mornings a week. Next year she'll go 3 mornings a week. She really seems to like it, even though Lilly put sand in her hair on the playground yesterday. This unfortunate event brought us to a family discussion about what to do when people put sand in your hair (because that happens often in life, I suppose). My grand advice was to say "Please stop putting sand in my hair" and then if she does it again to tell Mrs. Denise (to which Kendall exclaimed - "That's what I did!!") James' advice was "Don't push her or hit her". Um - thanks James - bringing up violence when that was the furthest thing from her mind. Nice.
Anyway - the school is great. My 3 year old can recite the fruit of the Spirit...unbelieveable.
- She goes to dance class one afternoon (well, one 30 minutes) a week. I was extremely proud to peek in yesterday (thereby ignoring the sign that asks parents not to stand in front of the door) and saw that my kid was the only one in 1st position. Of course visions of glitter, hair spray and a red and white cowgirl dance costume filled my head. Wait - the red and white cowgirl dance costume was mine when I was a kid...unfortunate choice, Mrs. Ann, unfortunate choice.
I say all that to say that she really likes it, but if she decides that she wants to try something besides dance, I'm all for it. I just want her active and involved in something - be that dancing (no pressure, Kendall - your mom just did it for 10 years and has spent the last 15 seriously regretting not keeping up with it) or T-Ball.
- She loves her baby sister. Right now, at least. She likes giving my belly a zerbert. She always says "Hi Raegan, it's me - Kendall" when she speaks to my belly. She says that she's not going to let Raegan to dangerous things like walk without holding our hand. Oh, and she said that if Raegan says "stupid" she'll give her a spanking. Niiice.
- Other things that Kendall likes right now in no particular order: chicken, Good Luck Charlie, the new version of the ABC song that Hooked on Phonics is teaching us, playing outside, bubbles, caterpillars, movies, Berenstein Bear books, baby/Barbie dolls, balloons, slushies, playing ball of any sort, her tricycle, rubbing lotion on Daddy's back (like how he taught her that one, huh?), snuggle bunny every night, finding the moon in the sky, the beach, bars of soap, paint (and tasting paint), Play-Doh, her friends (specifically Beccy, Charis, Jackson), her grandparents and aunts, swinging, our inside jokes (I'll ask her how much she loves me and she holds up her hands to show a teeny weeny bit or "put that away" when I hold out my hand to get a handshake - which we saw on the Tooth Fairy and she thought was hysterical), knowing what's next on the agenda ("what we do after this, Mommy?")
Things Kendall does not like right now: bedtime in her room, monsters, any bug besides a caterpillar or ladybug, mornings (although that is getting better since we've started a chart of things she's responsible for complete with stickers and a prize box), being forced to speak to people when she doesn't want to, cheeseburgers (she only likes hamburgers), milk, having her ears cleaned, Daddy brushing her hair ("he not gentle"), the vaccuum cleaner, skinned knees, ice packs on skinned knees, getting out of the bath ("I stay til water goes out"), discipline (who does?).
God, thank you for Kendall Anne Mason. She is the light of my life.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
No mo' sugar
I have gestational diabetes again. I took my 3 hour glucose test again on Monday and got the results today. So Tuesday I'm off to meet with the dietician and get my blood glucose monitor and my days of ice cream and fresh pineapple are over for the forseeable future.
This did not come as a shock and I'm actually grateful that I was able to have a fun few months of eating what I want. The diagnosis could have been a lot sooner since I had diabetes last time and was checked earlier this go round.
My doctor's visit Monday went well. I met with my favorite doctor and was able to get her take on the small head situation. She's not one to feed me fluff or to make jokes to try to make me feel better (unlike the doctor that broke the percentile news to me last time...she totally irritated me by trying to be funny in a not funny situation. Which I totally do all the time. Note to self - QUIT DOING THAT). She read the report and told me that it's possible Raegan's head is small, but that we'll need this next ultrasound to tell us if she's had siginificant head growth in these last weeks. That ultrasound will be sometime at the end of this month. So I take that to mean that we're not "in the clear". And she said honestly, that we won't be in the clear even if she's not diagnosed in utero because her pediatrician is going to be all over it given the small percentile. Oddly enough, this made me feel better - I needed someone to shoot it to me straight and I feel like she did. Hence the reason why I like her. We are praying that her little head will be in a more "normal" percentile range at the next ultrasound (aka it had a growth spurt) and we can put these fears to rest.
This did not come as a shock and I'm actually grateful that I was able to have a fun few months of eating what I want. The diagnosis could have been a lot sooner since I had diabetes last time and was checked earlier this go round.
My doctor's visit Monday went well. I met with my favorite doctor and was able to get her take on the small head situation. She's not one to feed me fluff or to make jokes to try to make me feel better (unlike the doctor that broke the percentile news to me last time...she totally irritated me by trying to be funny in a not funny situation. Which I totally do all the time. Note to self - QUIT DOING THAT). She read the report and told me that it's possible Raegan's head is small, but that we'll need this next ultrasound to tell us if she's had siginificant head growth in these last weeks. That ultrasound will be sometime at the end of this month. So I take that to mean that we're not "in the clear". And she said honestly, that we won't be in the clear even if she's not diagnosed in utero because her pediatrician is going to be all over it given the small percentile. Oddly enough, this made me feel better - I needed someone to shoot it to me straight and I feel like she did. Hence the reason why I like her. We are praying that her little head will be in a more "normal" percentile range at the next ultrasound (aka it had a growth spurt) and we can put these fears to rest.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
26 Weeks
•How Far Along: 26 weeks (and 2 days)
•Size of baby: Eggplant - 9.2 inches, 2 pounds
•Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm not sure, but I know the nurse will be glad to tell me at Monday's appointment...booooo
•Maternity Clothes: I have GOT to invest in some maternity pants for work...this Belly Band thing is on it's last leg. Best $19.99 my mom ever spent.
•Gender: GIRL! Raegan (middle name not decided) Mason - James and I agree on zero middle names. Maybe she'll be like my mom and not have one.
•Movement: Love it - you can see if from the outside now and it's cool!
•Sleep: Pretty good this week - my arms fall asleep a lot because I have a tendency to lay on them, but nothing a little hanging them over the side of the bed can't fix.
•What I miss: Raw fish.
•Cravings: Nothing really...I like fruit still and this morning I had to have toast or the day just wouldn't have been the same.
•Symptoms: I feel fabulous - seriously.
•Best Moment this week: James and Kendall both saw Raegan moving around - we were all piled in our bed just watching my big ole belly...fun times.
Looking forward to my appointment Monday. NOT looking forward to taking the 3 hour glucose test AGAIN. But I really want to talk to my favorite doctor about the small noggin issue and get her take on things and stress my feeling about not having the follow up ultrasound there at the office, but rather back over at the fetal diagnostic center. In my mind, if they are just going to end up sending me back over there anyway - I'd like to save myself the stress of waiting for the appointment to be made and all that.
I also want to bring up VBAC with her. So far I've got one doc for it, one doc against it, so I need a tie breaker.
•Size of baby: Eggplant - 9.2 inches, 2 pounds
•Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm not sure, but I know the nurse will be glad to tell me at Monday's appointment...booooo
•Maternity Clothes: I have GOT to invest in some maternity pants for work...this Belly Band thing is on it's last leg. Best $19.99 my mom ever spent.
•Gender: GIRL! Raegan (middle name not decided) Mason - James and I agree on zero middle names. Maybe she'll be like my mom and not have one.
•Movement: Love it - you can see if from the outside now and it's cool!
•Sleep: Pretty good this week - my arms fall asleep a lot because I have a tendency to lay on them, but nothing a little hanging them over the side of the bed can't fix.
•What I miss: Raw fish.
•Cravings: Nothing really...I like fruit still and this morning I had to have toast or the day just wouldn't have been the same.
•Symptoms: I feel fabulous - seriously.
•Best Moment this week: James and Kendall both saw Raegan moving around - we were all piled in our bed just watching my big ole belly...fun times.
Looking forward to my appointment Monday. NOT looking forward to taking the 3 hour glucose test AGAIN. But I really want to talk to my favorite doctor about the small noggin issue and get her take on things and stress my feeling about not having the follow up ultrasound there at the office, but rather back over at the fetal diagnostic center. In my mind, if they are just going to end up sending me back over there anyway - I'd like to save myself the stress of waiting for the appointment to be made and all that.
I also want to bring up VBAC with her. So far I've got one doc for it, one doc against it, so I need a tie breaker.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday's visit
I woke up Friday with a lot less anxiety than I thought I would feel...I can only attribute that to the prayers being lifted up for us. I figured I would wake up a nervous wreck, but that didn't happen.
The original plan was for us to have an hour of genetic counseling and then go for our ultrasound. We ended up getting a call on Thursday for the genetic counseling to be cancelled and moved to after the ultrasound, if necessary. We arrived at the diagnostic center at 10:30 (James and I met mama and Lisa there) and only had a short wait (yay). Our ultrasound nurse was very nice and explained everything that she was doing as she was doing it. The ultrasound took a while because it's so in depth...I can't think of anything that she didn't look at - hands, feet, bones, bladder, brain, fluid, ovaries (crazy to think that God gives females these organs even at 20 weeks old...praying for her future children)- everything going on in there. Of course, she couldn't tell us anything so she left to let the doc review everything.
As soon as the doctor came in, her first words were "your baby is beautiful" and I just cried with relief. Here's the deal - other than her small head, everything about the baby is perfect - brain is developing, organs are normal, measurements are on track. So the small head concern would be microcephaly - which is a scary, rare disorder that I've read way too much about this week. The doctor explained to me that microcephaly is diagnosed as a head circumference 3 standard deviations away from the mean. Yeah that's way over my head...no pun intended. The end result is that while our baby's head is small, it does not fit those criteria and she is confident that she will be born with a small head, but nothing wrong with her. She used the word "normal", and then stressed that normal isn't a word that she uses very often. I will have to have another ultrasound in the 3rd trimester as a follow up.
I am so thankful to God for this reassuring appointment. I try to be pretty open and honest, so I'll admit that I'm still nervous inside. I know myself well enough to not be surprised by the (crazy) thoughts that I've still got going on and the compelling urge to research other moms that have had similar experiences. I have another 4 months to figure out what God wants to teach me through this. I'm sure that He wants to prune away some of this obsessive anxiety that I've always had - and I want Him to. I know that it's normal for moms to worry...but I've always been the type of worrier that can't shut it off...I get consumed with worry over a particular thing for weeks on end and I can't make the thoughts stop. So honestly, I pray that God would use these months to help me work through that.
And here's the thing - I've said that I want my baby to be perfect. But it dawned on me today that no matter how she's developing, she IS perfect because God is making her...she's being knit together right now as I feel her kicking away and she's exactly what God wants her to be. And I'm already honored to be her mommy...God chose ME to be THIS child's mommy. It's a privilege and I'll spend the next four months with a focus on taking care of myself and of her and growing closer to the Lord...with maybe a little more research thrown in :-)
The original plan was for us to have an hour of genetic counseling and then go for our ultrasound. We ended up getting a call on Thursday for the genetic counseling to be cancelled and moved to after the ultrasound, if necessary. We arrived at the diagnostic center at 10:30 (James and I met mama and Lisa there) and only had a short wait (yay). Our ultrasound nurse was very nice and explained everything that she was doing as she was doing it. The ultrasound took a while because it's so in depth...I can't think of anything that she didn't look at - hands, feet, bones, bladder, brain, fluid, ovaries (crazy to think that God gives females these organs even at 20 weeks old...praying for her future children)- everything going on in there. Of course, she couldn't tell us anything so she left to let the doc review everything.
As soon as the doctor came in, her first words were "your baby is beautiful" and I just cried with relief. Here's the deal - other than her small head, everything about the baby is perfect - brain is developing, organs are normal, measurements are on track. So the small head concern would be microcephaly - which is a scary, rare disorder that I've read way too much about this week. The doctor explained to me that microcephaly is diagnosed as a head circumference 3 standard deviations away from the mean. Yeah that's way over my head...no pun intended. The end result is that while our baby's head is small, it does not fit those criteria and she is confident that she will be born with a small head, but nothing wrong with her. She used the word "normal", and then stressed that normal isn't a word that she uses very often. I will have to have another ultrasound in the 3rd trimester as a follow up.
I am so thankful to God for this reassuring appointment. I try to be pretty open and honest, so I'll admit that I'm still nervous inside. I know myself well enough to not be surprised by the (crazy) thoughts that I've still got going on and the compelling urge to research other moms that have had similar experiences. I have another 4 months to figure out what God wants to teach me through this. I'm sure that He wants to prune away some of this obsessive anxiety that I've always had - and I want Him to. I know that it's normal for moms to worry...but I've always been the type of worrier that can't shut it off...I get consumed with worry over a particular thing for weeks on end and I can't make the thoughts stop. So honestly, I pray that God would use these months to help me work through that.
And here's the thing - I've said that I want my baby to be perfect. But it dawned on me today that no matter how she's developing, she IS perfect because God is making her...she's being knit together right now as I feel her kicking away and she's exactly what God wants her to be. And I'm already honored to be her mommy...God chose ME to be THIS child's mommy. It's a privilege and I'll spend the next four months with a focus on taking care of myself and of her and growing closer to the Lord...with maybe a little more research thrown in :-)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
At times like these...
Yesterday was both an exciting day and a scary day for our family. We had our follow-up ultrasound (because the baby was laying in a weird position last time and the tech couldn't get all of the measurements that she needed). We got to see some really sweet shots of our sweet GIRL (yep - still a girl) and even got to come home with some 4D pictures (didn't get any of those with Kendall). The tech was able to get all of the measurements that she needed and then I met with the doctor.
It turns out that the baby's head is measuring very small - somewhere around the 4th percentile while her other measurements are around the 40-60th percentiles. The doctor tried to make me feel better, but is concerned enough to be sending us for a Level II ultrasound at Duke tomorrow morning.
I'm a wreck.
It's times like these that I realize how much more work God has to do in me. I would love to say that I've handled the situation with faith and calm, but really yesterday found me standing in my kitchen raising my voice at my faithful and calm husband because he is so faithful and calm and I'm so...not. I wish I could say that I didn't hop right on the internet (which is what the doctor told me NOT to do), but I did and now I've scared myself senseless. I wish I could say that whatever God shows us tomorrow, I'm okay with because I know it's His plan, but I'm just a mommy who wants a healthy baby and I'm afraid and confused and I feel like that hot dog I ate in the mountains must have somehow hurt my child...okay, that's pushing it, but I am filled with guilt that if something is wrong that it's my fault.
Granted, everything could be fine and I could be borrowing trouble and making myself sick over nothing. But how do you ever get to the point where you can patiently wait on something like this without worrying? I would think that after nearly 10 years with Jesus, I'd have this thing down. But I don't.
Here's what I do know - I am blessed beyond measure. I have the love and support of so many people that it makes my head spin. I know that there are literally hundreds of people praying for my sweet girl and I know that God hears all of those prayers and that He will prepare and equip us for whatever tomorrow holds. He loves my daughter far more than even I do and He has a plan, not only for me but for her.
So in the midst of fear and worry and a hurting heart, there is also hope knowing that God's showing me something in all this...even if I can't see it right now.
It turns out that the baby's head is measuring very small - somewhere around the 4th percentile while her other measurements are around the 40-60th percentiles. The doctor tried to make me feel better, but is concerned enough to be sending us for a Level II ultrasound at Duke tomorrow morning.
I'm a wreck.
It's times like these that I realize how much more work God has to do in me. I would love to say that I've handled the situation with faith and calm, but really yesterday found me standing in my kitchen raising my voice at my faithful and calm husband because he is so faithful and calm and I'm so...not. I wish I could say that I didn't hop right on the internet (which is what the doctor told me NOT to do), but I did and now I've scared myself senseless. I wish I could say that whatever God shows us tomorrow, I'm okay with because I know it's His plan, but I'm just a mommy who wants a healthy baby and I'm afraid and confused and I feel like that hot dog I ate in the mountains must have somehow hurt my child...okay, that's pushing it, but I am filled with guilt that if something is wrong that it's my fault.
Granted, everything could be fine and I could be borrowing trouble and making myself sick over nothing. But how do you ever get to the point where you can patiently wait on something like this without worrying? I would think that after nearly 10 years with Jesus, I'd have this thing down. But I don't.
Here's what I do know - I am blessed beyond measure. I have the love and support of so many people that it makes my head spin. I know that there are literally hundreds of people praying for my sweet girl and I know that God hears all of those prayers and that He will prepare and equip us for whatever tomorrow holds. He loves my daughter far more than even I do and He has a plan, not only for me but for her.
So in the midst of fear and worry and a hurting heart, there is also hope knowing that God's showing me something in all this...even if I can't see it right now.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
21 weeks
•How Far Along: 21 Weeks
•Size of baby: Length of a banana
•Total Weight Gain/Loss: Actually, none...but that works because I'm already overweight and am only supposed to gain 15-20 total. I didn't start gaining until 3rd trimester with Kendall, so we'll see how things go.
•Maternity Clothes: Still getting use out of my Belly Band with my regular pants for work and I live in maternity jeans any other time.
•Gender: It's a girl!! Well, the ultrasound tech was almost positive it's a girl, at least.
•Movement: Definitely...can't feel from outside quite yet, much to James' dismay. But a couple of times a day, she gets really active. I love it.
•Sleep: Up to use the potty twice a night, every night...at the point where I can't sleep on my back or stomach, so side to side it is.
•What I miss: Spicy tuna rolls and a flowing fountain of diet mountain dew.
•Cravings: Grapes, bacon...not together.
•Symptoms: I feel really good...the second trimester is so amazing to me - energy, attitude back to normal, healthy appetite.
•Best Moment this week: Lots and lots of movement.
•Next up: I have my monthly appointment, with another ultrasound on 3/18...or 3/16 - I can't really remember. Baby Mason was turned the wrong way for the tech to get all the measurements she needed last time, so I get an extra peek...praying everything looks good.
•Size of baby: Length of a banana
•Total Weight Gain/Loss: Actually, none...but that works because I'm already overweight and am only supposed to gain 15-20 total. I didn't start gaining until 3rd trimester with Kendall, so we'll see how things go.
•Maternity Clothes: Still getting use out of my Belly Band with my regular pants for work and I live in maternity jeans any other time.
•Gender: It's a girl!! Well, the ultrasound tech was almost positive it's a girl, at least.
•Movement: Definitely...can't feel from outside quite yet, much to James' dismay. But a couple of times a day, she gets really active. I love it.
•Sleep: Up to use the potty twice a night, every night...at the point where I can't sleep on my back or stomach, so side to side it is.
•What I miss: Spicy tuna rolls and a flowing fountain of diet mountain dew.
•Cravings: Grapes, bacon...not together.
•Symptoms: I feel really good...the second trimester is so amazing to me - energy, attitude back to normal, healthy appetite.
•Best Moment this week: Lots and lots of movement.
•Next up: I have my monthly appointment, with another ultrasound on 3/18...or 3/16 - I can't really remember. Baby Mason was turned the wrong way for the tech to get all the measurements she needed last time, so I get an extra peek...praying everything looks good.
Friday, February 4, 2011
I take it back
Remember that whole "they should just send me straight to the nutritionist" thing...yeah - I take that back. Turns out I actually PASSED my 3 hour glucose test. I was shocked. I had already resigned myself to a finger prickin good time.
They'll test me again at 7 months, which means I get the pleasure of doing both tests again. So we shall see what that shows.
I'm feeling good...it's amazing to me how much more normal I feel in the 2nd trimester. Both times it's like I went to bed this queasy, irritable, non motivated hot mess and woke up energized, hungry and much more cheerful pregnant lady. I still cry easily, but truthfully, I think I'm just a cry baby in my old age...not sure it has too much to do with the baby.
They'll test me again at 7 months, which means I get the pleasure of doing both tests again. So we shall see what that shows.
I'm feeling good...it's amazing to me how much more normal I feel in the 2nd trimester. Both times it's like I went to bed this queasy, irritable, non motivated hot mess and woke up energized, hungry and much more cheerful pregnant lady. I still cry easily, but truthfully, I think I'm just a cry baby in my old age...not sure it has too much to do with the baby.
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