Why?

Last January I wrote this post:

Please continue to pray for our family. Mikki passed away on Monday. Her funeral will be on Friday and I know that it will be extremely difficult. Please pray specifically for:


My Aunt Tina who has had to make some very difficult choices while mourning the loss of her baby daughter.

Jayden, Mikki's son. He still does not know that his mommy isn't coming home. They are telling him today.

TJ, Mikki's brother. He is heartbroken.

My brother, "Little" Ronnie who was best friends with Mikki from childhood.

My Ronnie dad who is performing his first funeral service.

I know that the Lord can be glorified through this situation.

At the time - Mikki's death seemed like the absolute worst thing that could have happened to my Aunt Tina and to my brother.  Then I got the call this morning that TJ had been killed in a car accident in the wee hours of the morning.  That's right - my cousin TJ, Mikki's brother.  As in my Aunt Tina's other child.  And suddenly I find myself at a point in my own personal life where I truly do not understand why.  There have been times in my life where I've seen something horrendous on the news and wondered why.  Or heard a story about someone that had tragedy hit and said "I don't understand".  But standing in my aunt's kitchen this afternoon, watching her try to hold her head high as she mourns the loss of another child before she's even begun to process the lost of the first one...it just doesn't make sense to me. 

Why has Tina's life been so hard?  In the course of her 45 years she has buried a husband and now has lost BOTH of her adult children?  Why?  Why?  Why?  I said in my first post that I knew that God could be glorified through Mikki's death.  And of course I pray that He will be glorified through TJ's as well.  But that nagging question still comes in - Why, Lord?  Surely I am not worthy to question the Almighty, but I feel that He can handle my questions, my anger, my disappointment.  And quite frankly, I don't know where else to turn with these feelings that I can not even put into words. 

So I'll ask again that you blog readers pray for my family.  Ronnie will again be doing the service...his second funeral.  I feel that the Lord used him in a great way at Mikki's funeral and I know He will again.  Please pray for Tina as she wonders if her life will ever be normal again.  As she figures out how to move on with these holes in her heart.  Pray for my brother "Little" Ronnie who has literally lost the two best friends, possibly only real friends, he's ever had.  Pray for my mom, who in her sweet and gentle way, provides comfort and support for Tina.  Gosh - I could go on and on - just please pray for my family.

I know God is good and I pray that the knowledge of His goodness will get our family through this difficult time.